Batman ran into the Batcave shouting “Alfred! Where are ya son?” Alfred stopped his work on the Batwing and said “What is this hootenanny about?”
“Alfred we got us a problem son! I sent out invites to all the coolest super heroes and anti-heroes for a big ol’ Bat-party on this very evening!”
Alfred sighed “I know about the party and I’ve bought party supplies. What has you so worked up?”
“The problem is Yeehaw-Man only dranks that Coors beer from Texas. He is the coolest rootin’ tootin-est hero around. I can’t impress him and get him to join the Justice League if
Batman in Twin Peaks: The Mystery Ends by waltwest, literature
Literature
Batman in Twin Peaks: The Mystery Ends
Da Batmayne drove the Batmobile toward Twin Peaks. He spoke into his tape recorder. "Alfred, I'm pulling into Twin Peaks. I ain't never seen so many trees in my whole entire complete life. I gotta know wut kind they are. seventy six degrees on a clear day. As Supamayne would say, I'd rather be here than Metropolis."
Da Batmayne put down his tape recorder and said "I need to tank up before I get to the Double R Diner to get summa that dee-licious pie." He pulled into Big Ed's Gas farm. Big Ed came over and said "Hey Batman. What can I do for you today? Would you like some diesel fuel?"
Batmayne looked to Big Ed's house and saw Nadine using
Lois Lane v Vicki Vale: Dawn of Justice by waltwest, literature
Literature
Lois Lane v Vicki Vale: Dawn of Justice
Lois Lane headed to the press conference in Gotham. Wayne Enterprises was announcing that the company would join with LexCorp in a new project to maximize the humour in novelty tee shirts. "I hope I get a good spot so that I can ask the burning questions. 'Lex, which is better pancakes or flapjacks?' or 'Mr. Wayne do you prefer ferrets or weasels?' There are so many questions that I must ask!"
She got to the presser early and got a front row seat that was equal distance between Bruce Wayne's and Lex Luthor's podiums. The buffet was close by too. As Lois reviewed her notes, she heard a familiar voice. "Well, well if it isn't that stupid repor
Superman made his way through the crowd in his nightclub "Club Super Dance". He got on the stage and grabbed a microphone.
"Alright, give a big hand to MC Batman and his brooding rhymes! ...And now the man that you've all been waiting for, he's got the Kryptonian rhythm: DJ Non!"
The crowd went wild as DJ Non came on the stage and dropped a phat beat on their heads.
Superman went down into the crowd to watch the show. He danced with all the single ladies. All of them. He decided to show off his Super Dancing and made his way to the center of the dance floor. As he grooved and jived his Super Hearing kept picking up that the crowd was unhapp
Batman V Hulk Hogan: Dawn of Hulkamania by waltwest, literature
Literature
Batman V Hulk Hogan: Dawn of Hulkamania
Batman carried his paper bag to the park. He looked around but didn't find what he was looking for. "I'm the World's Greatest Detective but I can't see him. Did he forget today was Max and Relax Monday?"
"I didn't forget anything, brother." Hulk Hogan said as he neared with his own paper bag.
"So, you brought just as many as I did. Come into some money?" Batman asked.
"I've always played the lotto, jack. It finally paid off. The Hulkster now has an extra $250 million to spend. I'm thinking of starring in another movie and I just got the cash money for the budget."
"You know that I could afford to star in a whole franchise of movies if I w
Da Batmayne was making his final perpetrations for his Fourth of July Bash. "Yo, Alfred didja send out da invitations? Didja put up the decorations? Didja check da whether for condensation?"
"Yeah. I did those thangs."
"That's gewd. I want to impress alla my super friends. This Bash gonna be off the chain; it's gonna be a ball!"
Da Batmayne danced with his invisible dance partner. He stopped when he realised that Alfred was still right thurr.
Batmayne retorted "So, uh, who you bringing to my bash? I hope you weren't too bashful round tha ladeez, Al-Fred."
Alfred retorted "I keep my private life private and that's that!"
Batmayne lmao'd
Bruce Wayne: Life on the Farm Ch. 1 by waltwest, literature
Literature
Bruce Wayne: Life on the Farm Ch. 1
Playboy Billionaire Bruce Wayne stared out the window of his private plane. He had a bigger, better, more beautiful plane than Air Force One, but he was taken by the beauty of another mistress. Alfred approached him with a Manwich, Bruce's favourite snack. Alfred handed it to him and began to walk away, but Bruce inspected it and shouted "Alfred! Come back here!"
Alfred sighed and returned to the Billionaire globetrotter and applied an industrial grade stiff upper lip. "Yes sir?"
Bruce continued to stare at the land below. "Alfred, does this look like extra mayo to you?" He took the top bun off of the Manwich. Alfred examined it and repli
The Caped Crusader in Metropolis by waltwest, literature
Literature
The Caped Crusader in Metropolis
Bruce Wayne wuz in his hotel room in Metropolis.
"Ha ha! I love da vacation! I love dis hotel! I love deez hotel pancakes! I'mma get some more!"
He picked up his phone and called room service.
"Aye yo! Gimme mo pancakes right now, sucka!"
"Sorry Mr. Wayne, you don't get anymore. I'm taking over this hotel."
"Aye! Who is dis?!" Wayne asked.
"Lex Luthor." da voice replied.
Bruce Wayne rushed to his suit case to get his emergency Tourist-Bat-Man costume.
"If I'mma take on Lex Luthor I need to team up wit da dat knows him best. Dat's Supamayne! ...Or maybe Green Lantern?"
Batmayne rushed to da roof of da hotel and glided to Da Dailee Pl