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About Literature / Hobbyist Walt WestMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
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Superman made his way through the crowd in his nightclub "Club Super Dance". He got on the stage and grabbed a microphone.

"Alright, give a big hand to MC Batman and his brooding rhymes! ...And now the man that you've all been waiting for, he's got the Kryptonian rhythm: DJ Non!"

The crowd went wild as DJ Non came on the stage and dropped a phat beat on their heads.
Superman went down into the crowd to watch the show. He danced with all the single ladies. All of them. He decided to show off his Super Dancing and made his way to the center of the dance floor. As he grooved and jived his Super Hearing kept picking up that the crowd was unhappy  that the Club had run out of apple juice.

"Lois! Lois Lane!" He called out, but Lois couldn't hear him because of DJ Non's sick beets that he was cooking on stage.

"I guess I'll have to go buy more apple juice myself." Superman moon walked off the dance floor and headed to door.

On the street a lad approached him. "Hey Soops can I get in da club?"
"Beat it punk! ...Oh, I'm sorry. Are you Tenzil Kem?"
"Darn tootin', so can I go in the club or not?"
"Yes! Please do, tell them Bing Clark wants you in the VIP area."
"Alright peace. I'm gonna drink so much apple juice. This night's gonna be crazy like the Joker."

Superman debated whether he should tell him about the lack of apple juice. He decided to stall him "Hey, also tell them Bing Clark said you could have unlimited free grape juice."
Superman flew above the city find the nearest Apple Juice Depot. "Aha! Over on Lex Luthor Boulevard."

He rushed in only to find that the stock was depleted. "Oh no! If I don't buy lots of apple juice, the clubbers will riot!"

He flew at the speed of sound until he found Apple Juice Club. He went in.

"Welcome to Apple Juice Club do you have a membership card?"
"Oh no!"

Back at Club Super Dance, DJ Non was nearly finished with his set. It was time for his most recent hit song "Drink Ya Apple Juice Wit Me". DJ Non had told Superman and Lois beforehand that he would tell the crowd to drink apple juice at that song, so Lois moved behind the bar to help serve.  

"Where is Bing Clark? We're gonna be overwhelmed." Lois called Superman.

"Hello?" Superman talked as he finished signing up for his Apple Juice Club Card.

"Where are you? DJ Non is about to throw down that apple jack beat!"

"I'm getting more apple juice we're all out!"
Superman flew through the store with super speed and quickly chequed out.

DJ Non grabbed the mic "Alright y'all! Who wants to drink apple juice wit me?!"
The crowd went crazy.

Superman flew back to the club, but he was held up in traffic behind Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and the Batwing.

Tenzil Kem was in the VIP area and he had just finished his twelfth plate of chicken wings.

"I'm gonna need to something tastier!" He eyeballed an empty chair.

Superman came in and handed the apple juice crates to the bartenders.

"Okay, time to start serving this stuff...Is it windy in here?"

Superman looked around to see Tenzil Kem finishing off the western wall. The club goers were running away in fear.

Superman sighed and said "Shucks that was all for nothing!"

Superman's Nightclub
Nightclub's are tough to run. Make sure you have plenty of the most popular drinks on hand or the clubbers will get mad at you and kill you in front of your employees. Or at least they won't come back. Whichever they choose, it's their call.
Batman carried his paper bag to the park. He looked around but didn't find what he was looking for. "I'm the World's Greatest Detective but I can't see him. Did he forget today was Max and Relax Monday?"

"I didn't forget anything, brother." Hulk Hogan said as he neared with his own paper bag.

"So, you brought just as many as I did. Come into some money?" Batman asked.

"I've always played the lotto, jack. It finally paid off. The Hulkster now has an extra $250 million to spend. I'm thinking of starring in another movie and I just got the cash money for the budget."

"You know that I could afford to star in a whole franchise of movies if I wasn't already spending my bullion on being the Dark Knight."

Hogan sensed jealousy in the voice of Batman's voice. "Well, no one wants to see a guy in a Batman costume wearing another costume on top of that. The people need to see a face or they won't know to connect with the character. That's why in my movie I won't  wear anything concealing my face. Even for the scenes in space, brother."

Batman felt threatened. "Let's not get into an argument. I'm feeling threatened. Let's just eat these hot dogs."

"Good idea, dude."

The two heroes emptied their bags of hot dogs and began to chow down.

"Hey you guys!" A voice cried out.

They looked to see Superman approaching with a man in a pointy hat and robe.

"Superman, what brings you to the park today?" Batman asked.

"Well, I'll tell you what Batman. I just made a new friend. His name is Dennis the Magical Wizard." Superman gestured to the his friend.

Hogan and Batman exchanged pleasantries with Dennis.

"So, you fellers gonna eat alla them hot dogs or can we help you out?" Superman asked.

Hogan pulled his hot dogs out of reach of the newcomers. "Lemme tell you something, brother. I knew exactly how many hot dogs I was buying when I bought them. I know how many I can eat and I know that I'm sick of paying for other people's basic needs. Get your own hot dogs and then we can talk!"

Superman looked at Batman while fighting back tears. Batman remained stone-faced and
nodded in agreement.

Dennis said "But I only want one."

Hogan replied "Then go buy one, jack! Just because I have something you want doesn't mean I have to give it to you. How do you think I maintain this physique? It's not by cutting a hot dog out of my diet! I need protein and calories and I need them five minutes ago!"

Dennis punched the air in frustration. "Well, fine! Be that way!" Dennis teleported away.

Superman stared at his feet. He weakly reached out to Batman's food supply. Batman silently shook his head. Superman slinked off with his head down.

"I don't like being this way, but he has enough money to buy his own food." Batman said.
They continued to eat. Dennis the Wizard was watching them from behind a tree.

"They don't care about anyone but themselves. I'll show them what's what."

Dennis teleported back.

Batman asked "Did you BYOHD?"

"No, I came to tell you that you owe me a hot dog and you should yield to my every request because I'm an ancient wizard that's much older than you and if it weren't for me you would still be stewing in your soiled undergarments."
Hogan pointed his finger at Dennis and shouted "Don't make me Hulk Out on you, brother!"
"That's the last straw!" Dennis shouted. He blasted them with lightning. "Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!"

The Hulkster and Batman writhed on the ground. Hogan gasped "We're in deep, brother! What are we gonna do? I've been hit by chairs before, but never lightning."
Batman stood and helped Hogan up. "We do this!" Batman hit Dennis between the eyes with a Batarang. Hogan and Batman ran while Dennis was stunned. They turned a corner and Batman said "In here!". He pulled Hogan into a Magic Supply Store.

"Fight magic with magic. Good idea!"

"I have a plan for everything, even electric wizards." Batman replied.
Batman pulled out his Bat Credit Card and bought two cans of Lightning Magic D-fense. The wizard caught up to them as they were spraying on the repellent.  He zapped them with lightning to no avail.

"Whatcha gonna do, brother?!" Hogan taunted. He grabbed Dennis and bounced him off the ropes. As he returned to Hogan he was met with a Big Boot to the face. He fell to the ground and the Hulkster leg dropped him. Hulk Hogan and Batman began to celebrate their victory. Dennis scrambled through his magic pouch and found that he only had one fire spell left.

"It comes down to this." Dennis set the two heroes on fire. Batman's suit was fireproof and he was foyne.

"Help me!" Hogan was flailing, trying to put out the flames.

"Stop, drop and roll!" Batman shouted.

Hogan did as he said and extinguished the fire. "How did you know to do that?" He asked Batman.

"That is one of the plan's I have. Because I plan for everything."

Meanwhile, Dennis fumbled through his pouch and found no ice or water spells. "If I can't beat them with lightning and fire, I'll have to make them beat each other!" He pulled out his Handbook of Practical Magic, Revised Fourth Addition and chanted "Ooloo Ba Ba turn Hulk Hogan into a Ba Ba Bad Man!"

Hogan immediately turned evil. He grew black stubble and his yellow and red clothes turned black and white.

"Good thing I planned for this." Batman said.

Hollywood Hulk Hogan body slammed  Batman. He tried a leg drop, but Batman had a plan for that and he rolled out of the way. Batman got up and hit Hollywood with three Batarangs, stunning him. Batman rushed him, but Hogan hit him with a Big Boot.

"I should have known! There is no plan that can stop Twenty Four Inch Pythons! I'll have to try to stalemate this fight."

Hogan and Batman brawled toward the local arena. Batman intended  to do this because he has a plan for everything. Dennis laughed at them and decided to follow. There was a local wrestling show in the arena and Batman and Hogan tumbled inside. The crowd saw them fighting and began to cheer for Hogan.

Batman kicked Hollywood Hogan in the stomach and used the opportunity to put him in a headlock.

Batman pleaded with him "Listen to the fans. They are Hulkamaniacs, don't let a wizard take the Hulkamania away!"

Hogan began to scream "I have to fight this! I have to take my vitamins!"
Instantly, he reverted to his normal self.

Dennis was stunned "I am stunned! How could this happen?"

"I fear no man, no beast or evil, brother!" Hogan replied.

Batman slammed Dennis on the ground. "You didn't plan for everything Dennis. If you did, you would've known that there is no magic strong enough to stop Hulkamania."
Hogan leg dropped Dennis so hard that he was transported back to the realm of wizards.

Batman and Hulk Hogan celebrated with the crowd and unknowingly buried the local wrestlers.

"Let's go finish off those hot dogs." Batman said.
They returned to the park and found Superman waiting.

"You don't think you're getting our dogs do you?" Batman asked while reaching for his Kryptonite because he plans for everything.

"No. I took what you said to heart and I am young enough to not demand special treatment from people because of my age. I brought my own food."

Superman pulled out his hot dogs...and some burgers.

"Hey, brother! No one said anything about burgers!" Hogan said.

Superman waggled his finger "You don't think you're getting my burgers do you?"

The three heroes laughed together.

Well, life has gotten in the way.

I've not written many tales lately because of all the cereal that I had to stack on my keyboard. I've finally eaten it all and the keys have never felt crisper. Probably the crumbs.

Anyway, I'm working on my tale that will span over ten or so chapters. I've only submitted my first one so far, but it's a real nail biter, so much so that I've had to start chewing on my toenails.

When I went down there to manducate I realized how much I missed that cereal. That means that I might have to buy more, which would delay the release of the second chapter of this riveting adventure. It could be a day or it could be years. Depends on the shelf life.

Yours truthfully,

Walt West
  • Listening to: The rain dropping on my quaint, humble home
  • Reading: The latest news on Brangelina
  • Watching: Time as it flees us so swiftly
  • Playing: With the heart of a temptress
  • Eating: Toenails
  • Drinking: Pepto-Bismol


Walt West
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
I am a writer of epic tales.

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