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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Walt WestMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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Self Portrait After Writing A Wonderful Tale by waltwest
Self Portrait After Writing A Wonderful Tale
I wrote of men dressed as Bats and Clowns. Afterwards, I felt as if 'twere a dream betwixt fingers and typewriter.
Bruce Wayne wuz in his hotel room in Metropolis.

"Ha ha! I love da vacation! I love dis hotel! I love deez hotel pancakes! I'mma  get some more!"

He picked up his phone and called room service.

"Aye yo! Gimme mo pancakes right now, sucka!"

"Sorry Mr. Wayne, you don't get anymore. I'm taking over this hotel."

"Aye! Who is dis?!" Wayne asked.

"Lex Luthor." da voice replied.

Bruce Wayne rushed to his suit case to get his emergency Tourist-Bat-Man costume.

"If I'mma take on Lex Luthor I need to team up wit da dat knows him best. Dat's Supamayne! ...Or maybe Green Lantern?"

Batmayne rushed to da roof of da hotel and glided to Da Dailee Planet. He rappelled until he found da office of Clark Kent.

Clark wuz typin' away on his typewriter.  "And that's why fish sticks are so important in today's economy. Fin."

He heard a Bat-tap on his Super-window. He looked to Batmayne and Super-nodded.

"Hey Jimmy! Tell Mr. White I'm going out to investigate!"

Soon, Supamayne and Batmayne wuz discussing dey plan.

"A'ight so, when we find Luthor, I'll step up to his face and you incinerate him!" Batmayne said.

"Sounds good! Leggo!"

Batmayne and Supamayne crashed through da hotel's front door and began trashin' da place lookin' for dat bald sucka.

On da fifth floor, dey found him.

Batmayne walked up to Luthor. "Aye wut a caped crusader gotta do to get some breakfast foods around hurr?"

"Well, let me see what I can do Batmayne."

Supamayne, eyes glowin' red, snuck up behind Luthor. As he lit up his heat vision, he got jacked up by a big ol' mean mayne.

Batmayne punched out Luthor and rushed to help Supamayne, but he wuz slammed into da wall.

"Who could do dis?" Batmayne asked.

Supamayne's eyes widened as he shouted "Darkseid!"

Darkseid lunged at Supamayne and slammed him into da ground.

"Whatchu doin' in dis hotel?" Batmayne asked.

"You know me better than anyone, Batmayne. You know that I could never turn down a free continental breakfast."

Darkseid tossed Batmayne out a window. Batmayne used his cape soften da landing.

"Luthor is using him as a bodyguard by paying him wit free breakfast!" Da World's Greatest Detective concluded.

Supamayne slammed through a wall and landed near Batmayne.

"I wonder if I could get in on dat..." Batmayne said.

"C'mon Batmayne help me beat this guy!"

Batmayne snapped outta his trance and said. "Oh yeah, about dat...I just remembered dat dere is a Pancake Place nearby. Let's just go there."

He helped Supamayne to his feet and dey walked 'round da corner to throw down on some breakfast pastries.

"B-but, but...what about me?" Darkseid asked.

Luthor walked up to his face and said, "I have some blueberry pancakes."

Darkseid hit Luthor wit his Omega Beam and shouted "I'm allergic to blueberries!"

"I'm so glad dat da situation wit Hawkeye worked out just fine!" Da Batmayne said.

"Indeed! We shan't speak of the details ever again!" The Flash replied.

Da Batmayne and the Flash walked into da secret Justice Leeg base in Gotham City.

"Now that the drama with the Avengers is over we should eat some of my secret banana cupcakes!" The Flash said.

"Aw yeah! I could use some nanners in my life!" Da Batmayne replied.

The Flash used his flashy speed to take da cupcakes from da secret place, but it wuz taking a long time.

"Did ya forget where ya put 'em? I'm hongry for da cakecup!"

"Sorry Batm'n! I seem to have lost them!" The Flash said.

"Well lemme see right chere, if tha speedy fella lost them there cuppin' cakes in this here Justice League base, which houses tha World's Greatest Detective, I think I know who took 'em. Yes sir!"

The Flash looked to see who wuz talkin' "Pardon me old bean, who are you?"

"Weeeellll...I 'spect ya'll fellers don't know me too good. I'm from that there planet Kree. The name's Ronan, Ronan the Accuser. And since accusin' is my bidness, I'm gonna accuse that there Batman of stealin' yer cupcakes!"

The Flash gasped and da Batmayne shouted "Dis is an outrage! Da Batmayne ain't never stole nothin' from a fellow Leeger!"

Ronan moved closer to da Batmayne "Well, I 'spose I could be wrong...but lemme ask ya somethin' feller. Is Wonder Woman the world's greatest detective?"


"Is Superman the world's greatest detective?"

"...Naw..." da Batmayne sniffled.

"Are you the world's greatest detective?"

"...Naw... I mean yeah..."

Ronan chuckled in da manner dat a chuckle head would chuckle and said "Well it sounds like you are the only one who has the skills to find secret cupcakes and then eat them!"

The Flash wuz shocked and hurt by da deductive reasoning of da accusing mayne "I trusted you Batmayne! It looks like I'll have to ask Green Lantern to feed my pet gerbil when I'm away."

Da Batmayne's eyes widened "Naw! Naw! I can feed gerbils! Don't take my only responsibility away from me!"

Ronan said "Well this here sounds like grounds for expulsion! Let's see what the other members think of this here!"

The Flash brought da Dark Knight before da Justice Leeg for a trial.

Supamayne slammed da gavel and broke it. "Oh no! I did it again! We need to buy deez in bulk."

Green Lantern said "I motion that we stop using the gavel entirely so that we don't have to buy so many...besides if we kick out da Batmayne we won't have the budget for it."

All of da other members except Batmayne and Supamayne shouted "Aye!" in unison.

Supamayne frowned and said "Well, dat's a great l'il plan y'all put together, but until I slam da gavel it ain't official and guess what...I JUST BROKE DA LAST ONE!"

Ronan da Accuser said "Let's get this over with. I got more accusin' to do."

"A'ight, a'ight. Batmayne did ya steal da cupcakes?" Supamayne asked.

"No! I ain't a thief!"

"You are da only one who could figure out dat da Flash kept them hidden in a safe under his dirty laundry." Supamayne said.

Da Batmayne asked "Where were da cupcakes hidden?"

Supamayne replied "Under his dirty clothes...uh oh."

The Flash shouted "Supamayne! You scoundrel! You must've used your X-ray vision to see my hidden treats and treat yourself!"

"A'ight so I did. What are you gonna do about it? I can whoop alla y'all!" Supamayne showed how swole he wuz to da Leeg.

"Maybe...but you'll never get another gavel again!" da Batmayne shouted.

Supamayne cringed and realized he had lost. He kneeled in front of Batmayne.

"Please don't do it! I wuz just a hongry mayne wit a hankerin' for cupcakes. "

Da Batmayne saw Ronan sneaking away. "Listen Soops, I'll get you another gavel if you git rid of dis accusing alien dat tried to git me tossed outta dis Leeg!"

Supamayne smiled  and said "Sure thing!"

Ronan's voice wuz shakin' as he said "Now hold on! I was just tryin' to-"

Supamayne punched him off of Earf.

"Get outta our continuity!" Batmayne shouted.

Da Leeg gathered to discuss wut had just happened.

"Erry time we git a moment of peace, some new food-related problem comes up." Batmayne sighed.

"Why do we gotta keep going through this crap?!" Wonder Woman asked.

"Fellows, let us forget our recent troubles and celebrate our chumminess at the local tavern, Zod's Grog." The Flash said.

"We really do make a great team!" Green Lantern said.

Da group laughed and headed to da tavern.

I just woke up from a great dream that I was Batman fighting crime in the streets of Gotham and eating the finest foods from the city's street vendors. It seemed so real and I think it was a dream, but where did this Batman costume come from? I don't own one.

Walt West


Walt West
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
I am a writer of epic tales.

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Garcho Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2014
Thanks for the fav!!!!! ^^
waltwest Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Nigel-Hirst Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the favs
waltwest Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
JACAC Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014

h e l l o . Walt:wave:

t h a n k . y o u . f o r . t h e . k i n d . :+fav: . =)


i . h o p e . m y . o t h e r . p h o t o s . a r e . a l s o . i n t e r e s t I n g

i f . y o u . g e t . t h e . c h a n c e . i . w o u l d . l o v e . t o . r e a d . a l s o . y o u r . c o m m e n t s


s m i l e . s p r i n g . i s . o u t s i d e . =)=)

waltwest Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
JACAC Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014
BIdevart Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the support!
waltwest Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Pajunen Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:
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