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About Literature / Hobbyist Walt WestMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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Da Batmayne was making his final perpetrations for his Fourth of July Bash. "Yo, Alfred didja send out da invitations? Didja put up the decorations? Didja check da whether for condensation?"

"Yeah. I did those thangs."

"That's gewd. I want to impress alla my super friends. This Bash gonna be off the chain; it's gonna be a ball!"

Da Batmayne danced with his invisible dance partner. He stopped when he realised that Alfred was still right thurr.

Batmayne retorted "So, uh, who you bringing to my bash? I hope you weren't too bashful round tha ladeez, Al-Fred."

Alfred retorted "I keep my private life private and that's that!"

Batmayne lmao'd and lol'd and rofl'd. He retorted "Alfred got a secret gurlfriend! You think I'm gonna steel her from ya? I wouldn't put it past me! Hyuk hyuk hyuk!"

Alfred retorted "I wouldn't put it past you either, philanderer."

Alfred's words that he said cut Batmayne to tha bone.

"I gotta go." Batmayne retorted.

Da Batmayne went into Wayne Cribb and cried, but not in a wimpy way, it was more like the type of crying when you drop a burrito on the floor. His bawling was cut short by a ring at the door. Batmayne opened it up and who did he see? Tha Mayne of Steal of course.

"Sup, Batmayne. Why you were crying?" Supermayne retorted.

"Aflred...he don't trust a Batmayne."

"That's turrible...About like last year's Fourth of July Bash.  You're not inviting Matter Eater Lad again are you?"

Batmayne retorted "Naw, if you eat up my chairs and tables you ain't coming back. Not even for my Valentine's Day Singles Bash."

"So where do I put this Super Tater Salad?"

Back on the lawn, Alfred finished talking to his gurl on his tellular celephone. He felt bad about what he said to tha Batmayne, but tha Batmayne had said some hurtin' words too.

The Flash ran up to Alfred.


Alfred took the pickles and slammed them on the ground. Or at least, he tried to.

The Flash grabbed them and retorted "What'sthedealmayne? ItwasjustaninnocentjarofsweetdeliciouspickleshandpickedfromthegrocerystorebymeTheFlash!"

"Batmayne loves pickles, but I'm cross with him, so no pickles will be had today. Also, I hate how fast you talk, sound like a fast forward."

"" tha Flash retorted.

"I'm sorry Flash."

"Don't worry about it. I'm past it, I just want to know how I can heal this gaping, bleeding, festering wound between you and da Batmayne."

Wonder Woman was at the table looking for hot dogs. They were all gone.

"Hey where are the dawgs?" She retorted.

Da Batmayne and Supermayne had walked outside and they heard her intriguing question.

"Alfred, you old punk..." Batmayne retorted quietly to his own self.

"Alfred! You better stop all this! You hurt me with your words and now you hurt me with your Easter Egg hiding skills, that you apparently modified to hide hawt dawgs!"

"Your words also hurt Batmayne. You accuse me of thangs that I ain't do." Alfred retorted.

The Flash got an idea. "Supermayne! Wonder Woman! come to me!"

They huddled and Flash asked where Green Lantern was.

"He sleeps all day. He won't be here until the fireworks." Supermayne retorted.

The Flash ran as fast as he could to Hal Jordan's run down motel room (where he stays when he visits his second, secret family).

"Wake up! I need your help!"

Hal rolled out of bed and put on his Green Lantern uniform. The Flash explained what the
problem was as they travelled to the Bash.

They arrived to see Batmayne and Alfred arguing.

The Flash retorted " Now!"

Supermayne grasped Alfred and Wonder Woman grabbed Batmayne. They threw the two at each other. Green Lantern used his ring to form a ball around them.

The Flash said "You are gonna stay in there until you resolve this."

Batmayne and Alfred turned away from each other. Eventually they gave up and began to sort out their differences.

"Alfred, I was just joking about stealing your gurl. You called me a philanderer and that hurt me."

"I'm sorry Batmayne, but you kept prying me for information. I wish you would respect my wishes."

Tha emotion was too strong for them in unison they said "I'm sorry mayne, show me love."
The Caped Crusader and his right hand mayne hugged it out.

Batmayne wiped a tear from his eye "We're good, you let us out now."

Green Lantern released them and the Flash patted Alfred on the back.

Wonder Woman pushed her way through the crowd and said "So do we have hot dogs or not?!"

Alfred said "It wasn't me, so who was it?"

"It was me!" The Joker laughed.

"I've been starving for two hours!" Wonder Woman shouted. She kicked the Joker all the way back to Arkham Asylum.

"So now what do we eat?" Supermayne asked.

A food truck rolled onto the lawn. The window opened.

"Zod's Hot Dogs! Get a hot dog, get six!"

The crowd cheered and lined up to buy summa dem hawt dawgs.

Later as the sky turned dark Batmayne pulled the Flash aside.

"I'm about to build a special rocket to shoot off. I need you to make sure Alfred is looking."

Alfred was chatting with General Zod about hot dog cooking techniques when the Flash ran up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"What is it?"

Flash pointed upward and the rocket exploded with a message that said "Alfred you basically my Daddeh"

Alfred's eyes teared up. He sniffled "Who's cutting onions?"

"Oh that's me." Zod said as he threw away his onions.

Alfred stopped crying and said "Oh."

Well, life has gotten in the way.

I've not written many tales lately because of all the cereal that I had to stack on my keyboard. I've finally eaten it all and the keys have never felt crisper. Probably the crumbs.

Anyway, I'm working on my tale that will span over ten or so chapters. I've only submitted my first one so far, but it's a real nail biter, so much so that I've had to start chewing on my toenails.

When I went down there to manducate I realized how much I missed that cereal. That means that I might have to buy more, which would delay the release of the second chapter of this riveting adventure. It could be a day or it could be years. Depends on the shelf life.

Yours truthfully,

Walt West
  • Listening to: The rain dropping on my quaint, humble home
  • Reading: The latest news on Brangelina
  • Watching: Time as it flees us so swiftly
  • Playing: With the heart of a temptress
  • Eating: Toenails
  • Drinking: Pepto-Bismol


Walt West
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
I am a writer of epic tales.

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riddleman Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2015
Thanks a lot for the fave :D
waltwest Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
chronoxiong Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave!
waltwest Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
leothefox Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2015   General Artist
:wave: Thanks for faving

Broken Wall by leothefox  
waltwest Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
DaveStrong Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave!
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Kumama Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you for the favorite!
waltwest Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
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